Justin Chambers, Mena Suvari, Stephen Rea, Tim Roth, Catherine Deneuve, Jean-Pierre Castaldi
Widescreen; closed caption; theatrical trailer, production notes.
|A terrible attempt at a cinematic reconception of the classic Alexandre Dumas novel "The Three Musketeers." The swordplay is done with wires in the gravity-defying style of Hong Kong martial-arts movies, and the incongruity is beyond jarring. Pretty-boy actor Justin Chambers ("The Wedding Planner") is way out of his league as D'Artagnan, the fourth musketeer, and nubile Mena Suvari ("American Beauty") is miscast as his love interest, a young chambermaid who is also (heh!) the Queen of France's secret confidante. Their line deliveries are ineffectual not that the stilted dialogue sings in the least. The cast includes otherwise respectable actors: Stephen Rea ("The Crying Game") as the evil Cardinal Richelieu, Tim Roth ("Planet of the Apes") as the even more evil leader of the cardinal's murderous black-clad brigade, and Catherine Deneuve as the Queen. But it matters not, because the movie doth suck in a manner most unpleasing.|